Finding Mary.
@storyboardc.
Dear Sweet Friends,
I am so grateful to be writing post’s again more frequently even though no one might be reading and that is ok. Writing to me is such a love language and even prayer at times. To get the words out onto the page or screen helps me reflect, decipher my thoughts and remember. I feel so blessed to be able to connect in this way.
On my heart this week, was my Monday night commute back to the little town I currently live in that is right outside south of Austin, Texas. It is about 45 minute drive from north Austin, give or take how traffic is and the time of day. While listening to my not usual playlist, I became overwhelmed by missing Home. This feeling comes and goes, it has overall gotten better with more time back here in Texas. But, in this moment it hit me really hard, really hard. Instead of my usual push it away and disassociate, I sat with it. Let the longing wash over me and the tears blur the headlights in front of me. Then I did something different, I invited Mother Mary to sit in my heart with me. One thing I am learning in this daily prayer season of my life that my Yes’s to letting the Lord in through the intercession of his Mother- that Mary just makes it easier. She softens sometimes the blow of allowing Jesus to pull back the truth layers of life. To heal and reveal the true nature of my heart. Where the real why’s become more prevalent and the worldly bullshit (sorry couldn’t think of a better word) that often clutter my heart begins to fall away.
By the time on my drive that I hit the toll road, I felt the pain wash away into to a gift of clarity. Yes, I do miss home, but what I really miss is my Mother. When I lost my Mom, it was as if I lost my homeland. In fact I did. But, in that moment I saw the statue above and the little prayer garden of benches behind the Adoration Chapel flash in my mind I recently discovered last Thursday. I was surprised that it existed. Especially after all the times I had visited the chapel since I had moved here.
It was as if Mary was saying, I was waiting for you even though you might not have noticed and I hear you. I see you. I love you. Always.
I then remembered the Marian Grotto, I used to love to visit on my summer trips to stay with my Grandmother as a teenager in my Mom’s hometown. I would ride my bike over to it. It was situated behind the small hospital and serenely overlooked the Lake. I would sit there for hours with Mary and when I would leave, I would always promise to come back.
Now nearly a thousand miles away and years later, I found Her again waiting.
Like I mentioned above, I feel like my worldly layers are being pulled back. Though I have always had a beautiful relationship with Our Lady even in times when my overall faith seemed to be faltering. She was always there to pick me up and bring me back to her Son. But, now spending time daily in Prayer through The Rosary in a Year podcast. My relationship with the Blessed Mother is going next level like a floodgate of love and comfort.
A holy new awareness of my own little heart in her hands and the overall role she plays in God’s Salvation Story and ours's. Always a active participant in our daily lives even though we often do not see or feel it.
Perpetually bringing our prayers, pains and hopes to her Son’s sacred Heart.
All I can think of right now as I am finishing up this little post is… I am so full of awe and praise to God and his gift of Mary. I wish I had the theological mindset to share along with it, but I don’t:) Hopefully my childlike enthusiasm can fill in the voids.
Thank you again for coming along as I share my little heart thoughts here. Be back soon.
Love, Cynthia